She shudders with borrowed unpleasantness, loses her handle on the birding for a moment, but she has enough to work with. Typetypetype stare draw type draw stare stare draw type.

You think your - your wanting is broken, that you must want things incorrectly if you could be at all ambivalent about what happened, she concludes. You've been ignoring what you want because you think your wanting is - fucking with you.